Humor

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Are you an Starfox SUPER ULTRA Fanatic? And you just hafta see if you are dead crazzy about Starfox? Maybe this'll help you out. Read the Jokes and Interview and see if you find yourself asking these questions or silly things that happen to you or anything. Does any of the humor apply to you? If so, you're pretty scary, but that's ok, we still like you...
Email your jokes and Humor to edward_lee@geocities.com
South Park Joke... Submitted by: KrazyKid87

Q: What if you crossed Slippy and Leon?

A: A frenchy frog! That's what Kyle called Pip on South Park.

Top 5 Signs that you've been playing too much... Submitted by: KrazyKid87

1.At the end Slippy finally go's faster
2.When you fight against the Star Wolf team, they have alot of bandaids.
3.General Pepper runs out of money for the bill.
4.Slippy destroys the robot in sector X
5.The Star Fox team at the main screen finally say something it is "TURN THIS STUPID GAME OFF RIGHT NOW!!!!"

You know you've been playing too much StarFox when... Submitted by: Pcldippy

...you try to invent the arwing peppy says yes!!!!
... when you die slippy says yes!!!!!!!
... when you die falco says yes!!!!!!!
... when you die your commited for telling war storys that never happened
...you end up like me

You know you've been playing too much StarFox when... Submitted by: Quicksilver
...you think Slippy actually starts to sound like a guy.
...when you start playing the game and a msg from rob comes.....Haven't you defeated andross enough?
...when you swear you saw falco shoot down katt on purpose...just so he can rescue her and they can ride in his arwing together.
...when you teamates start to shoot you down for not helping them....again.
You've played too little Starfox when... Submitted by: o.k.
-James McCloud takes off his shades and says "so this is what made me die"
-You start the game, and star fox says "shut off the game!" but if you don't, all your data gets erased.
-Slippy shoots down 1 bad guy.
-Peppy says "do a killyourself" and you crash your ship.
-Falco says "follow me fox" and makes you ram your ship into the floor.
-ROB says "location confirmed, sending supply" instead he bombs you.
-Pepper sneezes.
-Bill snaps at you and bites your head off!
-Katt cheats on you.
-you go to a planet called foxydead and foxy is dead.
-instead of Star Wolf coming, Tie fighters come.
-you look down and see Link from legend of Zelda.
-Ooppsy a poopsy.
-Slippy faurts out green stuff and turns blue.
-one speck of dirt gets stuck in your G-Deffuser and you crash.
-at the end of the game in the running sean, they are sleeping!
Why Slippy gets tailed so much... Submitted by: o.k.
1. She can't see, SHE'S A FROG!
2. She likes pain.
3. She want's time off your job.
4. She doesn't slip.
5. She wants to be monkey foo
You've played too little Starfox when... Submitted by: o.k.
1. You think Star Fox is someone from Little Bear.
2. You think Peppy is a Pokemon.
3. You think Falco is a new type of bird.
4. You think Slippy is a new soap.
5 You think ROB 64 is a robber.
6. When you get to the first level, you shoot the good guys.
7. You beat the game in world record time! 3 years on easy path!
8. You tell your friends all about it for 1 hour! (see above)
9. When you turn on the game, Andross laughs at you.
10. You HATE this site. (I LOVE IT)
Top Ten Reasons why Slippy Rules... Submitted by: Muk151
10. I think he's cool!
9. Yuh...
8. He's a frog! Frogs rule!
7. He is a mechanical GENIUS for God's sake!
6. No one likes him. I tend to stand up for the Underdog. Er... Underfrog in this case.
5. He built the Blue Marine. What else you were supposed to do, SWIM?!
4. Everyone says they hate his voice. Personally, I think it's cool.
3. He has that higher voice than Wario's (WHOOPS! Not talkin' bout Waluigi, are we, now?)
2. He's short. Short people rule.
1. Because I SAID SO!!!
A Response to Ask Fara... Submitted by: Dustbunny

1) Are you a bird?
"Last time I checked, no. Do I have wings? Hey! My arwing doesn't count!"
2) Are you a bird that cought itsel on fire and burned to death, writhing in agony?
"Uhh, it's already been established that I'm not a bird."
3) Are you a thing or person of unsurpassed beauty?
"DUH! Do I LOOK ugly to you???"
4) Are you a city in Arizona?
"Arizona? What's that? It certainly isn't anythin in the Lylat galaxy..."
5) Did you have some sort of horrible disfiguring accident with a blowtorch or gas stove that you survived? And afterwards did you get some sort of miraculous sugery that turned you into a woman like Cindy Crawford? If so, can I have your number?
"No, No, NO WAY!"
6) Do you have a population of 983,403? If so, you have some issues.
"Does that include fleas or other pests that we furries have to deal with? If it doesn't, no."

1) Do you like dating Fox?
"Yes, but he can be a little strange at times."
2) If you said "no" to the previous question, then do you like dating other fuzzy creatures? If so, I know this lynx that you might like...
"I didn't say no... but can I have that lynx's number anyway?"
3) Are you ready to kill me for this?
"Hmm... let me think about that one."
4) If you said "yes" to question 2 than you aren't very loyal, right?
"I didn't say that."
5) Does it suck being color blind? I mean, you are a part of the canine family, right?
"What is color blind? I see fine... my doc says there's nothing wrong with my vision."
6) Does that flight suit fit well? (Sorry, a couple of my friends wanted to know)!
"It fits very well... do me a favor and slap those friends of yours."
7) Are you really a chihuahua in disgiuse? I think it's the ears.
"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." "Okay... I thought about that answer to question 3. Time to die, buddy!" *Fara runs toward her Arwing*

You know you're hallucinating when... Submitted by: Ryan
...you swore that Slippy sang in the Lollipop Guild!
...you heard Falco call Slippy, Sloppy!
...you hear Falco say "Fox McCould" to you and laughs!
...Peppy says you're becoming more like your father. Fox says, "That's an insult, I don't wanna die!"
You know you like Pokemon better than StarFox when... Submitted by: Ryan
...you catch a Vulpix, call it Fox McCloud, then release it and say "So long sucker!"
...you type in your name in the records section as "Ash".
You have played too little Star Fox when... Submitted by: student@memphis.edu
..you finally get to Fortuna, and the Star Wolf team already there play cards.
..you finally get to Andross, he is asleep, he wakes up, looks at you, laughs, and goes back to sleep.
..you turn on the game and at the title screen, the charters start laughing at you.
..you crash in training mode ... before you even reach the first ring.
.. when Peppy said "try a loop", you ask where, why, and how, and crash.
.. you try flying with no wings.
.. you avoid up-grades.
.. you excited when you beat the game, easy route, in 2 weeks.
.. you think Star Fox for the SNES is easier to play.
You've Played too much Star Fox when.... Submitted by: Rburgett
.. you can beat the game with out thinking about it
.. you come to web sites like this
.. you type up some humor
.. you go crazy when you little brother erases you game
.. you come up with new music for the game using NIN, Boys to Men, etc..
.. you know the true story behind the game
.. you start to play Pokemon and spend over $100 on batteries.
Say what??? Submitted by: Ben

When someone says the word Phantron you, you actually know what they are talking about.

No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy... Submitted by: Ben

No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.
No Star and no Fox make Jack a dull boy.

(the list continues...)
Why there aren't many women on the StarFox team... Submitted by: Orvis Macabe

1. They would distract the men from their job (Whoa, check out the legs on that).
2. Meaningless girl talk would get in the way of  strategy planning sessions.
3. The recruiting officers are chauvanistic.
4. If women can't drive on land, why give them aircraft?
5. Constant radio chat would piss off the captain.
6. The only one that qualified was Fara Phoenix.

Questions to Ask Fara... Submitted by: Orvis Macabe

Definition of Phoenix
(phoenix also phenix): noun
1. Mythology. A bird in Egyptian mythology that lived in the desert for 500 years and then consumed itself by fire, later to rise renewed from its ashes.
2. A person or thing of unsurpassed excellence or beauty; a paragon.
3. Phoenix. A constellation in the Southern Hemisphere near Tucana and Sculptor (Middle English: fenix, from Old English and Old French, both from Medieval Latin: fenix, from Latin: phoenix, from Greek: phoinix)
4. Phoenix: The capital and largest city of Arizona, in the south-central part of the state northwest of Tucson. Settled c. 1868, it became territorial capital in 1889 and state capital in 1912. The city is noted as a winter and health resort. Population, 983,403.
--------------------------------------------------------
Now that you know the definition of Phoenix, here are a few questions to ask Fara:
1. Are you a bird?
2. Are you a bird that cought itsel on fire and burned to death, writhing in agony?
3. Are you a thing or person of unsurpassed beauty?
4. Are you a city in Arizona?
5. Did you have some sort of horrible disfiguring accident with a blowtorch or gas stove that you survived?  And afterwards did you get some sort of miraculous sugery that turned you into a woman like Cindy Crawford?  If so, can I have your number?
6. Do you have a population of 983,403?  If so, you have some issues.

A couple questions about yourself...
1. Do you like dating Fox?
2. If you said "no" to the previous question, then do you like dating other fuzzy creatures? If so, I know this lynx that you might like...
3. Are you ready to kill me for this?
4. If you said "yes" to question 2 than you aren't very loyal, right?
5. Does it suck being color blind?  I mean, you are a part of the canine family, right?
6. Does that flight suit fit well? (Sorry, a couple of my friends wanted to know)!
7. Are you really a chihuahua in disgiuse?  I think it's the ears.

Katt Monroe's Guide to Flirting: Submitted by: Orvis Macabe

     Iím an ace fighter pilot, and I have assisted one of the most elite groups in Lylat to stop Andross.  What do I do in my spare time?  What else would an eager little bachelorette do, besides flirt?  Sure, some guys may say that they have a girlfriend.  But hey, itís still fun to tease them a little! First, you must be wearing the correct attire.  I can make a jump suit look good.  So I use that most of the time when I go gallivanting.  Some people arenít as lucky as I am, so here are some basic guidelines you should follow if you arenít totally confident in yourself:

-Always wear something that will grab attention from men.  Nothing revealing though, because  you may get brushed off as some sort of tramp.
-Make sure that itís something that will ebb away at a guyís self control without making  them  stare at you.
     Itís also a good idea to have it bring something else out.  What I mean by that, is that the color (or shape) of whatever your wearing would get people to notice something else on you.  For example, my fur is a rich pink (not dyed), and I have a tuft of white that hangs over my forehead.  It may look odd, but I wouldnít be me without it, and for some reason it seems to attract the cute, eccentric men like crazy.
    Make sure itís an alluring color too.  Itíll make people think ìGee, that color is rare...î or ìYou donít see that very oftenÖî Trust me.  Again, look at my fur.
Okay.  Now that weíre dressed properly, weíll get into the physical stuff:-Perfume is always a good idea.  Donít use much though, just enough to let a guy that you might  bump into  (on ìaccident,î Iím sure) notice it.
-Wear an innocent face.  Youíd be surprised how many men fall for a gullible looking woman.
     If you have whiskers, be careful with them.  If youíre already close to the person your administering these tips to, this is especially true.  Having a whisker go up your boyfriendís nose during a kiss is a serious turn-off.  I learned that the embarrassing way.
     If you have a tail, use it.  A playful swish under a guyís chin will definitely get them to notice you.  Try putting a dab of perfume on the tip to make it that extra bit inviting.
     If your legs are like mine, men simply drool over you.  Try to call attention to them.  Smoothing out (imaginary) wrinkles on your pants is a good example of an action that would stop their eye movement for a while.

You know you're swooning over the StarFox team when... Submitted by: Orvis Macabe

you keep looking out the window at animals and sighing.

you involuntarily say "nice butt" while looking at a blue jay.

you have no problem with imagining one of the characters popping out of a birthday cake.

you wonder if there is a StarFox: Swimsuit Edition

you somehow manage to get ahold of StarFox: Swimsuit Edition

you swear Slippy is cheating on you...

you become involved in a deadly love triangle with Katt and Falco (Jerry Springer? I should hope not!).

all your diary entries start with "still haven't met that certain fuzzy woodland creature"

You know you've been Playing way to much SFX64 when... Submitted by KEVSKOVE

-You've played non-stop ever since you've got it and at the end when they're running Peppy trips and runs the rest of the team over

-When you are fighting star wolf leon says "You're not as tought as I thought" like a gazillion times and then Falco says: "Hurry the $@*&@^*^(*#^^@#(^ and take out Leon!" and then leon says "shut the *&^#*&(&^$(^#$&^&$^*#^A$&^#$ up!" and eats his arwing and the THE SYSTEM BLOWS UP AND THE WORLD EXPLODES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Peppy starts to have ga

-Falco starts to pettition about you eating his cousins the chicken

-at the end screen where they are running, fox hits falco and says "tag! you're it!"

-Fox's dad leads him the wrong way out (Which he has done to me SEVERAL TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

-Fox's dad disappears and you hear his voice laughin

-You get P.O.'d at slippy so much that you shoot him down and he goes and shoots a nova bomb at you and it blows you up and then he starts rally for "cruelty towards toads!"

-peppy farts dust

-peppy said he was alive when the dead sea was only the sick sea

-peppy keeps farting

-and farting

-and Slippy throws a thing of Gas-X at his shi

-and it gets stuck in his g-diffuser

-and he farts and it explodes

-falco leads you into the wrong waterfall

-when falco gets a buzz cut

-and peppy has 99999 earings on at once

-and slippy for some reason keeps wanting to take a looooong ride with Kat on the blue marine -and takes falco instead

-When you keep flying and fly into Andross' mouth -and you realize that he has bad breath, 9 cavities, and no body part other than his head

-Peppy farts and blows up your system and the your house explodes

When too much Starfox is enough... Submitted by PsychoSpunky

-At a convention one summer you spend two hundred
dollars on Star Fox memorabilia.....
-That is only in the first two hours...........
-When the convention ends you suddenly find that you
are five hundred dollars poorer.....
-and you don't know where you spent the money.
-You pick up a N64 controller and yell "All aircraft
report!"

-You worship the game so much that your friends beat
you up for it......
-But this doesn't stop you from worshiping it.....
-So you and a friend build a support group called "The
Admirers Of Star Fox 64 Who Are Constantly Being Hit
Over The Head By Their Supposed Friends".........
-And he/she gets mad at you if you get just one
acronym wrong.

-You get lots of pictures of Fox McCloud and build a
shrine to her in your room.....
-Then you put a picture of Fox on your bedpost
-But that isn't enough for you so you carry some of
the pictures around in your wallet at all times.....
-And when you leave your wallet at home just once you
start to hyperventilate.

-You start a petition to have the school mascot
changed to Fox McCloud

-You only play Star Fox 64 though you have almost
every N64 game.

-The Star Fox members are afraid of you because you
talk about Star Fox 64 too much.

-You dress as Katt for Halloween.......
-and you're a guy.

-Every time a guy walks by you say, "I could kiss you
for that"......
-and you're a guy.

-Everytime someone new comes into your room, it takes
them several minutes to keep themselves from fleeing
in terror..............
-And this is before they see the shrine that you built
to Fox McCloud.

-You make a video about Ted Bundy for a grade at
school and put a picture of Fox McCloud in every
single scene........
-Then near the end of the video you give Fox McCloud a
Cameo appearance.......
-and talk about how the victims might have survived if
the Star Fox team had been there.......
-And then you put the Star Fox team in the credits.

-you spin around and throw pillows at people yelling
"FIRE THE NOVA BOMB!" when you are bored.

-You think that you are Fox McCloud........
-So in your spare time all you do is play practice
mode in SF64......
-and in the end even your friend the fanatic Star Fox
fan is afraid of you.

-You don't think that there is anything wrong with
doing what is listed on this webpage......
-and you decide to try some of it next time you get
the chance.

-You think that the date Star Fox 64 came out should
be a national holiday.........
-and every time someone asks you what you are talking
about, you get mad and rant about how there's
christmas, why not star Fox-mass, Fox McCloud-mass, or
Arwing-mass.

-Your friends modify your part in the school play so
that you can be someone who thinks that they are Fox
McCloud...........
-and among your lines are "We're Star Fox!-Which you
say proudly, because after all you get to pretend that
you are Fox McCloud!

-While talking to a friend online you suddenly start
putting Fox, Fox, Fox at the end of each
sentence.......
-And so does he/she..........
-and neither of you really notice.
-and pretty soon this becomes a tradition

-After only a few days the Russian student living in
your room begins to refer to you as the Star Fox 64
specialist.......
-and he has never even seen or heard of the game "Star
Fox 64".
-Then just before he leaves to go home to Russia he
asks you for a picture of Fox!

-Your christmas tree reminds you of Fox McCloud
because it is green like his flgiht suit.

-You spend $20 on making 1200 fliers to distribute at
school about Star Fox 64.....
-and then you spend two hours putting them into every
locker in school.....
-And the next day when people open their lockers they
freak out and toss them on the floor...
-until finally the halls are lined with pictures of
the Star Fox team......
-This isn't enough for you though.....
-So you also rig the morning and afternoon
announcements so that special messages will be read
about Star Fox 64.

-You play laser tag and insist on being the Star Fox
team
-And when you win you say it was because you're
friends of Fox McCloud
-You try to make your school get uniforms like what
Fox wears
 

-You tape a cordless phone antennae to your cheek....
-and then go out into the middle of your yard to give
trnasmittions to the Star Fox team.......
-and you succeed

-You go to shoe stores looking for fox's boots......
-and you keep searching even though you are convinced
that he is the only one with those shoes.

-In your bunk bed on the bottom of the bed above, you
hang posters of the Star Fox team because having her
just on the walls means that if you look up you might
not be able to see them.
-Then you realize that even with the bed in the corner
of the room that is only three sides, so you put
posters at the foot of the bed.
-But that isn't enough either so you make your bed
into a canopy bed by hanging wall scrolls over the
open side.
-Thats when you realize that there is still some white
space between posters so you lay out $250 on cards
with pictures of just them so that you can use them as
wallpaper between the posters.
-Of course that is still only five directions that you
can see the Star Fox team, if you lie face down you
can't see them, so you get some Fox McCloud dolls to
sleep with too.

-You write humor about when people are playing too
much Star Fox 64.........
-And most of what is on the page are true experiences.

You've been Playing Too Much Starfox when... Submitted by: Josh White

you think Loen is kin to Monncia(last name are close)

You only play as fox on Super smash brothers

you wish they put more starfox character in Super Smash Brothers

you have a pet lizard name Loen

you can hum the star fox intro

U talk to the Tv telling Falco to get a clue about cat

You Know StarFox is Real when... Submitted by: Triggerhappy

All your friends are half human/animal...

You drive to school in an arwing...

You travel space daily...

Your teacher is Pepper...

Top Tens signs you've try to combine StarFox and the WWF... Submitted by: Jth3369@aol.com

10. You sign matches and hold them. You against a STUFFED ANIMAL!!!
9. You put the Mandible Claw on Falco as the only way to shut him up.
8. Tonights main event: Andross versus Vince McMahon in a "Battle of the Tyrants" contest
7. HHH and Fox give X-Chops to Starwolf so Fox could be in DeGeneration X
6. Shane McMahon trys to get people to join "Team Coporate" but then HE gets hit with some Stone Cold Stunner.
5. Shawn Michaels clonks Slippy in the head with a steel folding chair.
4. Stone Cold Steve Austin and Peppy have a couple of "Stevewiesers".
3. New NAO entrance; "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BOYS AND GIRLS CHILDREN OF ALL AGES DEGENERATION X PROUDLY PRESENTS ITS FORMER WWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF A WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOX MCLOUD, BAD ASS BILLY GUNN!!!!!!!!! THE STARFOX OUTLAWS!!!!!!!!!!!"
2. The Arwings transform into wrestlers just to intimidate Andross, but then Andross just makes them hit ROCK BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. There's an 8-man tag match between Starfox and Starwolf when all of a sudden rivals teams come out and all hell breaks loose!!!!!!!
Top Ten Reasons Why The Starwolf Lost On Fortuna And Venom...  Submitted by: Jadis

Note: I like Wolf, so I just won't take the fact that he lost to the !!@^%^&^$**^%^%^% Starfox team!!!!!

1. YOU CHEATED!!!!!! ADMIT IT!!!!
2. You put sleeping pills in their drinks and they kept falling asleep in their cockpits.(this isn't funny, BUT THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!!?????? THIS IS THE TRUTH!!!! SO DON'T START SMILING!!!!!! WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!!!!!!!?????? AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I DON'T NEED TO WRITE THE OTHER 8, I KNOW YOU
CHEATED!!!!!!)

(Jadis faints from stress)

(Psycho walks in and sees Jadis)

Psycho: Oh no! She must've ate my vitamins!!!!

(takes a small bottle from Jadis's pocket)

Psycho: Yep, she did. "Psychopath vitamins", 'enough to make
Your neighbors move to another zip code.' Oh well, (eats
Some of the vitamins, eyes go all swirly-like)

Psycho: (now even more psycho) Ha ha!! Death!!!!!

(Psycho pulls out a chain saw and rushes out the door to wreak havoc)