Humor Page 2

HEY! You acually made it here! HOORAH! It took awhile huh? but you finally did it. Give youself a pat on the back. Now all you gotta do is read more Humor on this page and the Interviews which will take forever! WAHAHAHAHA! ok.. Just keep reading.... Enjoy
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You know you're WAY too much into Star Fox when....Submitted by: Joel Morgan

-You've ever tried ANYTHING Peppy tells you...in real life (barrel roll,
somersault, using bombs, etc.)

-You argue with the team during the game because you don't like their
strategy, and besides, you're the leader. (Why SHOULD I use bombs
wisely, Peppy. And WHO are YOU to tell me to find my own target, Falco?
I'll shoot down anyone I want to because I'm the leader!)

-You resolve to name your children after SF characters.

-You already HAVE children named after SF characters.

-You wish that Fox and Wolf would just land their fighters, get out, and
duke it out for Fortuna.

-You've actually hacked into the game and made it so that they would.

-You buy a male red fox and name it Fox Mc Cloud.

-You buy (or find) a female fennec fox and name it Fara Phoenix.

-You breed the two foxes...just so that you can see what Fox and Fara's
kids would look like. (I really need help)

-You're absolutely convinced that the big Hollywood sci-fi flicks ripped
off Star Fox.

-You wish that the next planet they visited in "Star Trek:(insert series
title here)" would be Corneria.

-You argue with your friends over the similarities between Fox and
Kirk...or Picard...or Sisko... (Assuming there are any)

-You argue that Fara (or Katt) would make a better captain than Janeway.
 

-You wish that the next "Star Trek" SERIES was called "Star Trek: The
Lylat Mission"
 

-You could have sworn that you heard your father say, "Use the Force,
Fox!", and that Nintendo just forgot to put the audio in.

-You think that Luke is really Fox, just in human form, and he's really
from Titania, not Tatooine. (I think that Lucas just got the
Cornerian-English translation messed up...hehehe)

-You wish that Darth Vader would just TRY and take on Corneria, just so
you can see Star Fox kick his a** all over the galaxy.

-You're playing the game when suddenly your team, along with Granga, the
Attack Carrier, the Meteo Crusher, the train boss, Andross, the Spyborg,
the Phantron, the Enterprise (first and latest, the E), the Defiant, the
Voyager, the Millenium Falcon, the Death Star, a squadron of X-wings,
and the Space Shuttle all attempt to shoot you down. (Your allies?
Uhhh...where'd they go...oh, wait, there's Fara. Geez, two against the
biggest FLEET this side of the Spanish Armada? Nice odds...maybe today
IS a good day to die...)

-You petition Mr. Itoh heavily to write a sequel to his comic. (I
would...any takers?)

-You petition Nintendo to make a Star Fox 64 sequel...or a Star Fox RPG
(Hey...it worked for Mario...by the way, I've heard rumors... :)  )

-You figure out how they could possibly conceive of a way to make a Star
Fox RPG.

-You quit playing Star Fox 64 for a month, and the last time you saw
your electric meter, you noticed that it stopped going crazy.

-You receive your electric bill for that month and discover a 95%
savings over last month.

-You start playing again and your power station explodes from the
overload.

-You've ever shot down Slippy and Pepper promotes you to Grand Admiral.


You know you've played to much Starfox when...Submitted by: Cross-X

1.You strap yourself to a model rocket and try to reach the Lylat system.
2. You think you've suceced.
3. You did get there.
4. You got there and saw everyone of JW's character in person.
5. You goto the cloths store and stay away from the "old section" (read Haram's Main Target)
6.You know Katt's character list and "The List" by heart and can repeat them forward's and backwards.
7. You have over 3 avaters for mouth off.
8. You got on speacilal drawn by Fox himself.
9. You have ever wondered why NASA hasn't sent a probe to Lylat.
10. You write a letter to them outlining a plan of how-to and the budget of the project.
11. You have made your own starfox game for the N64 by turning old Mario 64 cartridge and some printer cables into a formated N64 cartigrage.
12. You learened C++ and got a degree in enginering to get it done.
13. When ever you hear you'r alarm go off in the morning you awake in a cold sweet thinking your plane is going to crash.
14. You've looked in the fish section of a mraket for Tornab Crab.
15. You decieded to go with some blue crab and imagine it as Tornab Crab.
16. You've been to A6, and gotten every question right.
17. You got bored with the N64 game so you bought back snes from your younger sibling and got the original.
18. You've never played the N64 version in fear of andross's return.
19. You've figured out that Fox Sr. really didn't die in a black hole but in the hands of andross, (explination, in the blackhole he went throught time
to the future and was captured by andross)
20. You talked to Stephan Hawlkings to see if your theroy is correct.
21. He said yes.
22. You've come up with a explination of why earth animals walk upright and talk in english, spanish and other earth languages.
23. You learned spanish for JW's stories.
24. You learned venom for fun.
25. You're trying to get in on the devolpment of a nintendo console that plays only starfox games
26. You made it yourself, with a holodeck to talk to to Fox and see if he likes it. 
Two signs you've played/read too much Star Fox...Submitted by: Ted Perrotti

1.  You find yourself walking around your house, talking with your (human)
family, and everything seems normal.  Then, you wake up and find yourself
in the bottom bunk of a bunk bed, and Fox McCloud Jr. sticks his head down
from the top bunk and asks, "Are you OK, Kid?"  Then, you respond, "Sure,
Fox, but I just had the weirdest dream . . ."

2.  You read #1 and think, "Yeah, right!  Everyone knows Fox sleeps on the
BOTTOM bunk!" 


You know you're WAY too obsessed with SFX64 when...Submitted by: Joel Morgan

-You wish that the Air Force would learn how to build an Arwing, just so
you can join and fly one.

-You don't play Star Fox 64 for a month, and you notice that your
electric meter has quit going haywire.

-You receive your utility bill and find that it's 95% lower than last
month's...because you quit playing.

-You start to play again, and your local power station explodes from the
overload.

-The Star Fox team has started legal proceedings against you for wage
and hour violations.

-You resolve to name your children after the characters in the SF game,
comic, or fanfics.

-You HAVE children named after SF characters.

-You buy a male red fox and name it Fox McCloud.

-You buy (or find) a female fennec fox and name it Fara Phoenix McCloud.

-You've ever bred the two...just to see what Fox and Fara's kids would
look like (that is, assuming they ever have any)

-You wish that the next system that is visited in the next episode of
"Star Trek:(insert series name here)" would be the Lylat system.

-You wish that the next "Star Trek" SERIES would be in the Lylat system.

-You've tried ANYTHING Peppy tells you...in real life.

-You play Star Fox 64 and argue with the rest of the team because you
don't like their strategies. (Why SHOULD I use bombs wisely, Peppy? And
who are YOU to tell me to go find my own target, Falco?")

-You are flying through Corneria in the game when suddenly the Gorgon,
the Phantron, the Shogun, Andross, the Death Star, the Executor, a
squadron of X-wings, the Milennium Falcon, the Great Fox, the Enterprise
(first and latest), the Defiant, the Voyager, the Attack Carrier, Fara,
Katt, Bill, the Star Wolf team, the rest of your team, and a partridge
in a pear tree join forces to shoot you down...because they've had
enough of you hogging all the fun. (I'm kidding about the partridge. By
the way, if you don't understand the references e-mail me at
WOLFHOUND21@webtv.net ) .

-The new 'Anti-Fox League' suceeds in shooting you down, and blows up
your house. (For the list of members of the AFL, see above joke)

-You can come up with a witty comeback line for ALL of Falco's smart @$$
remarks.

-You shoot Slippy down, and Pepper promotes you to Grand Admiral.

-Andross invades Earth...just so that he can tell you to quit playing
and have the authority to enforce it.

-You have nothing better to do than write SF humor and fanfics...hey,
wait a sec!

-You've ever had a crush on ANY of the SF characters.

-You've ever wished for a Star Fox/ Star Trek crossover fanfic.

-You've got an idea for a Star Fox/ Final Fantasy crossover fanfic (like
me! :)  )

-You've developed an obsession with eliminating all the helium tanks
known to exist in the universe...just to get Slippy to lower the pitch
of his voice by...oh, I dunno, THREE OCTAVES!!!

-You think that Barney is really Andross in disguise.


Everyone hates a Fox... 'cept... Submitted by: Dan C. Mirk 
"Man, what an ego that guy has!" says Falco, to Peppy and Slippy.  "I
know!" says Peppy, "Where does he get off calling this thing the Great
Fox??? Why not the great Rabbit or something?"
"I think that Great Fox is a good name," Slippy says, "But I don't
know about the color.  All grey like that?  I think a big pink ship
would look terriffic!"
"Um... yeah, Slippy." says Falco.  "Plus, why does he get to fly out
front all the time, like he's the best.  You know, I've been a piolit
a lot longer than he has!"
"Yeah, what's the deal with that?" Falco tells everyone, "Also, the
way HE'S the one who always gets to talk to all the bad guys.  Why
can't I slip in a few words before the battle???"
"He just has good people skills." says Slippy.
"Sure, Slip," Peppy says, "Also, I see a little bit of attitude that
Fox has a lot of the time.  Like when he says, 'I'll go it alone from
here'.  What??? We're not good enough to go with him???"
"Yeah," says Falco, "And whats with the way he looks?  All furry like
that? Probably sheds all over the cockpit."
"I think he's kinda cute." Slippy says.
"What was that?" says Peppy.
"Nothing."
 


Observe.... and You'll see... ^-^ Submitted by: Dan C. Mirk

Ever notice how Peppy brings up Fox's dead dad a lot of the time?  Fox
must be like, "Yeah, I get it!  He's dead!  You don't have to rub it
in!"

Why don't they just stay in the Great Fox the whole time?  Do they
really need to risk going out there in those flimsy little Arwings???

Do you remember "Krang" from the Ninja Turtles?  He was a big talking
brian, just like Andross.  What's the deal???

Is everyone sure that the "Forever Train" couldn't be killed while in
the Arwing?  Do they really need that little tank?


You know you've played to much Starfox when......Submitted by: Matt O' Donnel

 10.  When you speed around the parking lots looking for warps to take you to Sector Z.

 9.  You call your teacher Andross.

8. Whenever you see Barney you tell him to say his prayers.

7.  You claim to the police that your Fox Mcloud and you have no time to recieve a speeding ticket.

6. You scream angrily when your arwing crashes on the game.

5. You think your parents are dead.

4.You act like you haven't seen your friend for years.

3. You want to live in outter- space.

2. You pretend your bratty sibling is Andrew Okieny and tell them to shut-up.

1. You begin to act just like Fox Mcloud. 


You've played to much Starfox when...... Submitted by: Marcus 
You keep thinking you hear the high pitched whine of Arwing engines during the night.

Through some program glitch, Fox and his crew accidentally get mixed up
with the game, Goldeneye.
"The names Fox, Fox McCloud."
"Oh do grow up 007."Slippy replies.

You discover that barrel rolling in your car is not a good idea.
It causes damage to the frame of the vehicle.

Instead of fighting Andross, Fox is flying down the trench of the
deathstar.
"The force is strong with this one."Darth Andross.
Obi Peppy, "Use the force Fox!"
Princess Peppy, "He's my brother Han Lombardi."

After spending a short while in prison, you learn that you should not try and hijack military aircraft. On Corneria or Earth.

In your mind's eye, Slippy Toad should be captain Ramius in, The Hunt for Blue Marine.

On Area 6, you keep wanting to have control of Great Fox instead of an
Arwing so that you can fire those big ass laser cannons on it.

You go on a rampage and begin to kill monkeys at the zoo.

At the beginning instead of them all being on the entry screen, Slippy,
Falco, and Fox are carrying a small coffin.
"Alas poor Peppy. The stress of the game playing was his undoing."

The Starfox team lands in your back yard and they run into your room and begin to play the N64.

You try to find a good therapist for Leon.

You eat pork and bacon all the time to avenge James' death.

You imagine Starfox meets the movie, Topgun....
Fox buzzes Fara Pheonix at the beginning. Literally.
Falco dies like Goose did. Sniff.
Peppy plays the part of Viper.
And Slippy is Merlin.

You still grieve for James McCloud.

You imagine Starfox meets Starship Troopers.

You imagine Starfox meets Startrek.

Finally you have learned the secret to life.
STARFOX. 


You have played too much StarFox when... Submitted by: Stephen and Betty Aulridge 
You hear Falco say "Now its our turn to kick some tail!"

he shoots you down (see above)

then peppy says "Im sure we hurt'em this time."(see above)

You make jokes about what the team says on Macbeth.

You shoot down Andrew and the StarWolf Team and Andross say at the same time "THANK YOU!!!"

You realize the Cornarian Army is worthless an you yell at the screen "HEY YOU SCRONNY @$$ SH--! WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU LEFT ME OUT IN ******* SPACE TO BATTLE A BIG ******* MONKEY!!!!!"

You Use a lot of profanity in a joke. 



Questions and Answers... Submitted by: Triggerhappy 
q:whats the difference between slippy and a sack of cement
a:the cement is a better pilot

q:what do you do if wolf threatens you
a:turn on n64

q:why is peppy always giving lectures to fox
a:everyone else got tired of listening 


You Know You've Played too much Starfox when...Submitted by: NDT88@aol.com 
The people who shoot at you are actually Stormtroopers

Your co-pilot is Flash Gordon

Your N64 blows up ( your house too )

you sue the pants off of every tv station for not making a star fox tv show

You pack everything in a backpack and wait outside till midnight.

You see a fox run across the street and think it's Fox Mcleoud.

When you play, Slippy says goodbye cruel world and self destructs.

Then the SF team laughs and celebrates (see above)

You grow up and go into the army when you notice that there isnt any
landmasters (or whatever they are called). They are just tanks.

Andross lets you beat him.

You go crazy when the team talks to you

You find out your Fox and they were talking to him (See above)

at a baseball game, they are giving away 2 fox beanie babies. you think they
are fox and james mcleoud and say, "I'll rescue you. Dont worry".

Star Wars fans start boycotting SF64

instead of phasers, they have blasters.

The sequel will not have slippy

The team laughs and celebrates (again) (See above)

you notice that you are flying X-wings

Name your dog bill

You read a bunch of books and find out secret codes for SF64

They serve you chicken wings for dinner and go, "Falco! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

You own 3D posters and when you look into them you see Star Fox images

you start a play for star fox

and then start an opera for star fox (see above)

You think Fox Mulder is related to Fox Mcleoud

You find secret tv channels that show the star fox team doing stuff

Dennis Miller gives a review for SF64

You read this list and start one of your own 


New dumb charachters for da sequel... submitted by crappo
big wolf -  Star wolf's liddew bwuddar
 pigmama - take a wild guess
 slippy new and improved - hes a guy (FINALLY!)
 birdy - Falco's girlfriend
 crappo - Falco's son 2 but a really good target
 yo mama - Star fox's elementery school teacher
 star mom - guess who
 andrea - andross's niece

Why does Slippy have a high voice? Top 20 reasons...Submitted by Starguy
20. He got kicked in the nuts really hard
19. He takes from his mother
18. He is bisexual
17. He wants to be just like Katt
16. Fox was an influence (he crossdresses)
15. He thought he wasn't a guy because he was his mom's bathroom pal
14. He's a girl
13. He sucks helium
12. There's a lot of feedback in the game
11. He's Green because he held his breath too long and won't exhale
10. His room was pink
9. He's flaming gay
8. He watched The 5th Element too much and got attached to Ruby Rod
7. Andross made him cry eternally
6. He doesn't want to scare the kids
5. He thinks it will scare andross
4. Two asteroids got stuck in his shirt and looked like boobs
3. He's so f****ing annoying we wanted to make him squeal
2. Pigma sat on him
1. HE NEVER F****ING HIT F****ING PUBERTY DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Forbidden Question... ^-^ Submitted by: GoldGuy

What if we all knew if Slippy was a boy or a girl.

You know you've been playing to much StarFox when...Submitted by: Dave Pinkerson
1.You go too a planet and everyone is dead.
2.When you get to Andross he says "Not this time Fox"and selfdestructs.You die.
3.Wolf Mcdonnel and his men team up on you and blow your ship up.
4.Then they show a movie of Wolf mcdonnel killing all your men and blowing up Corneria.(See above)
5.Then a video of Star Wolf holding a laser to the General (The one at the end of the game)and his bodygaurd (named Foley)hiding behind a barrel.The general says "For Corneria Foley"and Wolf kills him,then kills Foley.(See above above)
6.Rob64 goes hangwire and blows everyone up.
7.When you beat the game it shows a window but you can only see shadows.Then it shows Falco's shadow and Kat's shadow and then a big red sign covers the screen that says Censored.
8.Peppy's ship flys in a straight line and his bones are in the cockpit.
9.When your flying out of Androsses place you hear Obi-wan Kenobi say"Use the Force Fox"
10.The Star Fox team appears at your house and Falco says "Stop playing,your making us tired"and shoots you in the head with a laser.

What if...... Submitted by Triggerhappy 

1. what if andross had a wife
2. what if andross had a body
3. what if you read this
4. what if slippy actually MATURED
5. what if slippy SHUT THE **** UP
6. what if SF64 the sequel turns out to be an rpg
7. what if the SF64 sequel has cameo appearances by Mario and goemon.
8. what if there is no SF64 sequel!!!!!!!!!!!
9. what if i stoped typ
10. what if someone outlaws SF64


Jerry Seinfield's subject of Star Fox.... Submitted by Stacy Cornbred 

Well,I think it's a great game but did you notice that soft little mohawk Fox has got?And how come his father never had it?Did Fox' mother get a mohawk?And why does Falco has an attidude?Was it too hot in his egg?Why does Slippy talk like a girl?Is it possible he is a homosexual? How come Katt looks like she has a cigar stuck up her nose?Why could General Pepper send Andross to Venom if Andross is really,really huge? Is Rob64 C-3po's long lost brother?Why does Peppy sounds like he is from Texas?And what the hell is wrong with Andrew?His ears make him look like Star Trek fan.How come Bill didn't do anything to destroy the 4 hatches and the core if he said to do it?He must be bossy!And the biggest question of all........*Drums rolling* Wolf,Fox,James,Katt,Bill,Andrew, Andross,Pepper never had Fleas or Lice?What' up with that?This concludes my review on star Fox.....a Flying game with Flying Mysterious. 

You Know You've Been Playing Too Much StarFox 64 When . . .Submitted by Roxanne Wolf 

1) StarFox plays by themselves, blindfolded without you're help.

2) When they talk to you, you talk back, and then they talk back.

3) You can play the whole StarWolf Team.

4) All of a sudden, you're Nintendo 64 blows up (NNNOOOOOOOOO!)

5) Everybody is old and weak, even Slippy (now THAT'S a miracle!).

6) When you go to school, the teacher askes if you're here you say any
of these: "Falco here, I'm fine." "Slippy here. I'm okay." "Peppy here.
All systems go."

7) When you listen to music, you say, "Let's rock and roll!".

8) When your brother or sister said something smart, you say, "Ha!
You're not as stupid as you look!".

9) When you play with a bad game player you say, "You're good, but I'm
better!".

10) You hear Captin Mardock say in "Titanic", "See my ship? DOES IT LOOK
OKAY TO YOU?" 


How Peppy got His Name... Submitted by Roxanne Wolf

Peppy was a very happy and wild kid . . .

Peppy: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Watch me do a backflip! Mom! You're not
watching me!

Peppy's Mom: A backflip? You're only 5! Well, I have seen you do a
summersalt, cartwheel, and a handstand, so I guess I'm not surprized.
Okay, I'll watch.

Peppy's Dad: He learned a new trick by himself again, didn't he? What's
with him?

Peppy's Mom: He has alot of pep. 


You know you play to much Star Fox when... Submitted by IcedDragon 

The Star Fox team flies down during lunch and tries to recruit you for the
Cornerian cause... and you don't find that odd

You can't understand what people have against Slippy? I mean, you find you're
attracted to that little frog. That squeaky voice, that little green face...
you're even fighting as Slippy on foot so you could see that little green
butt...
(No, I'm not this bad! Don't even start! My voice should be dripping sarcasm.
Oozing sarcasm! ::Sarcasm oozes from her voice into a little puddle of liquid
sarcasm::
Pigma- ::Licks at the puddle since he already finished off Star Wolf's
supplies and is hungry:: Yummy!)

Somehow, you find you're littering your conversasion with phrases from Star
Fox...
"Shoot, I've taken damage!"
"Trying to do a barrel roll with your car isn't a good idea. It's going to
cost you to repair it."
::Sighs and gives money:: "I guess I should be thankful"

Forget the movie... you've written the Star Fox Musical! (Imagine Wolf & co
doing a "I'm losing" number to the tune of "I'm wishing...")

You can be found by the foxes at the zoo, calling, "James McCloud? I know
you're there! I'll get you out! I'll bring you to Fox..."

You *finally* figure out what they're saying at the intro screen! (You know,
when you move around that '64'...) Sure! "Please... no more!" "Turn this off!"
"Stop playing Star Fox!"

When you take a break from playing, you go read the Star Fox interviews... and
gasp at the drama! James' drink problem! The troubles of Bill as a pizza
delivery guy! The on-going feud between Falco and Leon...

You finally find that elusive code that erases all the air brushing done to
Peppy and shows what he *really* looks like...

Your wingmates start make amazing dives, great shots... and they destroy
everything before you can get a single shot in... in fact, you don't kill a
single thing on the entire level...

Great Fox and your wingmates fly off and ditch you while you're busy fighting
Andross...

You fly down, looking for Andross... and see a 'For Sale' sign in front of the
temple...


You know you've played too much Star Fox when... Submitted by PsychoSpunky


...you SWEAR that you saw James McCloud on the back of a milk carton.

...you think the internet images of Andross are moving.

...you have no life beyond Star Fox.

...you write YKYPTMSFW all over your walls.

...you made a Star Fox church.

...you campaign a Star Fox playing tips class at your local high school.

...you look for Arwings too pass over your yard.

...you adjust your TV to make Falco green and he says "Cool! I'm
green!".

...you write YKYPTMSFW humor.

...your name is PsychoSpunky and you act as your name describes you.

...you have multiple personalities that relate to the Star Fox
characters.

...you're a character in a Star Fox movie.

...you've kept a Sim going since Sept of '97.

...James McCloud is your idol.

...you change your name and keep teling people, "MY NAME IS FOX, BIRD
BRAIN!".

...when you think retro style you think Star Fox for SNES.

...you shoots at apes at the zoo.


Figures... Submitted by Sean Wolf 

On Zoness Katt comes and says.
"Are you trying to ruin my prety little face!".
Well duh? Why the hell 'da ya think I'm shootin' ya! 

You know you've played to much Starfox when... Submitted by Ole and Karen Lawson 

You know you've played to much Starfox when on Katina, you accidentaly
shoot at one of Bill's wingmen and Will Smith comes on your radio and says
"Oh, you did NOT shoot that green s*** at me."

You know you've played to much Starfox when you keep crossing it up with
other movies/games.

You know you've played too much Stare\fox when you go to another galaxy far
far away......... (see above)

You know you've played too much Starfox when you kill yourself with you own
bomb. 


How Falco Became such a Jerk... Submitted by Roxanne Wolf 

Falco's Mother: OOOUuuuch!!! When is it gonna come out? It's been 5 1/2
months already! This kid's KILLING me!!!

Flaco's Father: I'm sure he or she is worth the pain.

Falco's Mother: I HOPE SO TOO!!!

(Later that day, Falco's Father drove Falco's Mother to the hospital)

Falco Mother: AAAAHHHHHH! It's time!!!! We need to get to the delivery
room NOW!!!!

Falco's Father: Don't worry, don't worry honey! I'm hurring . . .

(At the delivery room . . .)

Doctor: One more push should do it . . .

Falco's Mother: I'M GONNA DIE!!! AAAIIII!!!!!!

. . . . . Waah! Waaahhh!!

Doctor: Congraulations, it's a baby . . .

Falco's Mother: Is it a girl or a boy?

(Doctor slaps Falco's Mother)

Doctor: Shame on you for bringing a hidious kid like him into the world!
You too sir . . .

(Doctor slaps Falco's Father)

Falco's Father: At least we know that he's a boy . . .

Falco's Mother: Ahh! He IS hidious!

Falco's Father: Oh my, . . . .

Falco's Mother and Father: We need to put him into abdoption.

Falco's Mother and Father put him into abdoption. He was abdopted by
mean and abusive parents . . .

"Mom": Shut up kid and eat your dinner!

"Kid": Wha?? I'm only 5 and where's dinner?

"Dad": You know where it is, idiot, on the floor next to the toilet.

"Kid": But nothing is-

("Kid" gets slapped)

"Mom": SHUT UP! Don't you EVER talk back to me AGAIN!

("Kid walks off to find dinner)

"Dad": What should we call him?

"Mom": Why'd you want to do that? You accutally care about him so much,
you wanna give him a name?

"Dad": NO! No, I'm running out of other things the call him.

"Mom": Oh. Well, he is a falc-

"Dad": That's it!

"Mom": What?!

"Dad": Falco!

"Mom": Well, okay. I don't like it, so . . it fits him completly. Hey
Kid! Come here!

Falco: Yeah? What, do you want me to feed you again?

"Mom": Yeah, and so you wanted be bored, we'll call you Falco. That's
your new name!

"Dad": Quit standin around and GET BUSY!

("Dad" kickes Falco)

. . . When Falco grew up to be 10 years old, he ran away from home and
grew up on the streets. When he was old enough, he joined the StarFox
team. He found out about this when he was 16 years old. 


Unanswered Questions Submitted by Triggerhappy 

1. were the h*** is the cornarian army when you need them
2. how old is peppy.
3. why doesn't andross just give up.
4. who desided to make slippy so annoying.
5. who thought up all of peppy's lectures.
6. what is the currency in lylat
7. when did they deside to make a grouch like falco in the star fox team.
8. how do i think up such awsome humors.[i know you envy me].

Top 10 excuses for not being able to pass the Corneria stage on StarFox64... Submitted by PsychoSpunky 

10. Because of... ummm.....
9. Welll. It's because of... well... not really...
8. Waitaminute. I have to think up another lie.
7. Do I have to answer these?
6. Oh! I know! Nonono...
5. Ahhh... err....
4. Nevermind. I can't think up anymore.


How Slippy got his Name... Submitted by PsychoSpunky 

***Warning: Corny***

He stared talking at an early age and was saying thisng's like:

"Hey, mother ******s!"
"How the **** are ya doin!"
and
"My friends told me how to say words like ****!"
When Slippy's parents found out he said,
"It Slipped."


The Conversation Between Roxanne Wold and FBI Agents Mulder and Scully... Submitted by Roxanne Wolf 

Roxanne Wolf: Hi! I'm talkin to FBI agents! Kewl, eh?

Fox Mulder: Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI.

Roxanne Wolf: We know who you are.

Dana Scully: Now, Roxanne, you are a half wolf and half human, right?

Roxanne Wolf: Duh!

Fox Mulder: How is that?

Roxanne Wolf (thinking): He is sssooo kute! I can't believe he's looking
and talking to me! He's looking at me! This is a dream come true!

Fox Mulder: Roxanne?

Roxanne Wolf: Huh? Oh yeah, uh . . well, I live in Lylat. It has many
half animal-half human people.

Dana Scully: What is this, Lylat, like?

Roxanne Wolf: It's a system of planets . . .

Max: RRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!!

Dana Scully: AAAAHHHHHH!!!! ::her chair falls back as she faints::

Fox Mulder: What the h*** was that?!?! Scully?

Roxanne Wolf: She'll be fine! That's just my pet Godzilla, Max! He just
wants attention.

Fox Mulder: A Godzilla and wolf-human. What next?

::huge, loud foot thumps shake the floor as Max enters::

Roxanne Wolf: Come Max! Meet Fox!

Fox Mulder: Did you just call me by my first name?

Roxanne Wolf: Opps. (thinking) Does he now know that I love him?

Fox Mulder: Do you like me?

Roxanne Wolf: YEAH! Opps, uh . . . . . . . so what do you think?

Fox Mulder: That's alright. I like you too!

Roxanne Wolf: You do? That's great!

::Fox Mulder and Roxanne Wolf smile::

Max: RRRROOOOAAAARRRR!!!

Roxanne Wolf: Uh, I think I need to put him to sleep for the night.

Fox Mulder: Okay. Uh, after we put Scully in the hospital, wanna go out?

Roxanne Wolf: But I'm only 12 . . .

Fox Mulder: So? I don't care.

Roxanne Wolf: . . . . Me neither. Okay! It's a date! Where to though?

Fox Mulder: First we go to CiCi's Pizza and then to my house. Sound
okay?

Roxanne Wolf: That's great! Let me put Max up first. Then we carry
Scully to your car and take her to the hospital.

Fox Mulder: Okay. I'll pay for the pizza, alright?

Roxanne Wolf: Okay. Come here Max! Time for bed.

Max: ::makes little grr's as Roxanne Wolf puts him to sleep::

For Mulder: Ready?

Roxanne Wolf: Ready!

::Roxanne Wolf and Fox Mulder drive Scully to the hospital as she stays
there overnight, then drive to CiCi's Pizza, then to Fox's house::


Really really Weird Questions to Ask... Submitted by Roxanne Wolf 

What would happen if StarFox finally kicked Andross's butt? Whouldn't
everyone be bored and there would be no more StarFox games? How come you
can beat him in the game? The Nintendo company then makes up some stupid
excuse to make another game. How come the never curse in the game? It's
the 90's! You hear people curse all the time! I they are from another
far off galaxy, how can they speak English? We live in one planet that
speaks MANY languages! Why half-animal and half-human things? Did they
change over the years? If they did, how did animals get there from
another galaxy?! Why do two different animals love each other? What
other the offspring? like Katt and Falco? How come theirs only one women
in the game? Women CAN be tough, ya know! Is Solar, like, their sun or
planet? Shouldn't StarFox wear shades to protect their eyes if they go
near a sun-planet? What's with all the unknown people, like Kitty
Monroe, or Fana McCloud? I REALLY need to know. How the heck did a video
game from another galaxy get to Earth? How did they learn English? Maybe
the truth IS out there . . .


Ask Star Fox... submitted by Stace de kewl wulf 

Hi'ya! Stace de kewl wulf here! I jeist finished dis hoomur page, hope u luv
it! Mmm Bop! bidop dop mmm bop, doie on dop mmm bop, bidop dop doo! Oh yea!
****************************************************************************

Here's 1 letter frum Deon Renard.
Dear Star Fox,
Why is Slippy always getting pursued by bogeies?
Deon

Well, Slippy's still being chased, Deon, but eye can answer dat. HE
CAN'T FLY WORTH ****!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA SHOOT HIM DOWN TOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, it's de wulf in me, being half wulf, half human anyway.

Here's anoder
letter, frum Selina D. Courgarine.

Dear Peppy,
Did you have any girlfriend?
Selina

Well, Selina, u're very, VERY lucky! Eye have the Pepster here with me and he'll answer dat four u.

PEPPY: Well, come to think of it, I-
That's lovely, Pep-a-roonie, butt I have 2 read 1 more letter.
PEPPY: Oh, bye!
Dis last letter is frum Gilbert Feline.

Dear Falco,
Why are you blue?
Gilbert

FALCO: I'M NOT! I'M GREEN!! ADJUST YOUR TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!(he's being sarcastic)
Falco, calm down!
FALCO: (using REAL bad profanity) (walks away)
Oh, how sad, dat's all de time eye have fur today. So, chow!


You know you've been playing too much SFX64 when... submitted by Stace de kewl wulf

In vurses mode, you start looking around for the missiles on Sector Z.

You here Andrew say "Andrew need a new diaper."

In expert mode, you die because of you can't see worth beans in you're
sun glasses.

Wolf starts going crazy and you hear him go
"What's da matter with you, Fox! I wuv you! YOU'RE MY BESTEST
FRIEND!!!!!"
on Fortuna when he chases you everywhere.

You're flying around, when you get captured by the Death Star.

You crash land on a planet called Vulcan and you meet Spock.

He hates you and gives you a nerve pinch(see above)

In the Great Fox on Sector Z, you sware you here ROB64 shout
"She can't take much more of this, Captain" or "She's going to blow any
second now!"

Instead of getting older, Peppy sucks in the gas in the Time suspencer
capsules(from "The Thundercats") and starts getting younger.

You're N64 blows up.

You finally get a medal on every level, and you're N64 gets a memory
virus
and you're game starts all over.

You go crazy(see above)

You crash land on Earth and see Captian Kirk playing with whales.

He calls you a double-dumb ass(see above)

You hear Peppy go "ANYBODY GOTTA CARROT?"

You save Peppy on all-range mode and he says "You're father saved me like
that too." and you wonder if James shot Peppy til his shield gauge is in
the red zone.

You here Falco go "I'M GOING TO SHOT YOU DOWN AND BECOME THE LEADER OF
THE STAR FOX TEAM! HA HA HA!!!!!!"

You die. (see above)

You go to Spyborg and he says "Creator!!"

For Peppy's birthday, you give him a book called 'You know you're over 40
when...'

Peppy takes the book and knocks you over the head.(see above)

You give Falco a cake for his b-day.

He smashes it in your face(see above) 


Humorous quotes for Star Fox... submitted by Stace de kewl wulf

SHOGUN: Don't potty just yet!
SLIPPY: But I really gotta go!
FALCO: Shut the f*** up!!!!!!!
SLIPPY: But I really, REALLY, REALLY, gotta go!!!
Afew seconds later.
SLIPPY: Never mind.
When Stacey starts QOUTING SLIPPY!


You haven't played enough Star Fox when... Submitted by PsychoSpunky 

... all of the ships on Corneria commit suicide and you get a lot of free points out of pity.

... you keep shooting down your wingmen on Fortuna.

... you scream when you see Andross for the first time.

... you think you're going crazy when the characters talk to you.

... when the characters talk to you you keep wondering why they're calling you Fox.

... your great-grandpa playes better than you.

... you try to get as few points as possible thinking this is a golf game.

... you think Andross is your best friend.

... you can't get past the first cinema scene.

... you can't belive it's not butter (I don't know why I ut it in. It just sounded funny)

... you try to find secret stages with Ninja Turtles in them.

... you avoid the rings in training mode.


You Know that you've been playing too much StarFox when... Submitted by Bryan Martin 

You know that you've been playing too much starfox when you kill 1000 units
and don't place in your top 10

You know you've been playing too much starfox when Slippy goes balistic and
kills the entire star wolf team.........on Venom

You know you've been playing too much starfox when you learn Japanese from
the bad dubbing at the end of the game.

You know you've been playing too much starfox when Peppy begins to tell you
an enemy weakness and then says "screw it, you already know"

YOu know you've been palying too much starfox when you make it a point to
kill the EXACT same number of units in each level

You know you've been playing too much starfox when one of your teammates
bails out another one

You know you've been playing too much starfox when one of your team shoots
you down and says "turn the machine off"


You know You haven't played enough SFX64 when.... Submitted by: Triggerhappy 

1. you think wulfs interveiws are better than mine[oh god no!]
2. you think the N64 simbal at he begining is a hidden boss.
3. you stick SF64 in a sega[OH GOD NOOOOOOOOO!]
4. you think that you are the star wolf team and you fight the evil star
fox team[OOOOH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!}
5. you cant beat your granny in vs mode
6. you think the Arwing is spelled Rwing and it looks like an oversised R.
7. you have never beaten conaria.
8. you try to use the Dpad instead of the stick.{my dopey sister did}
9. you can never get a score better than 2.
10. you can't tell the difference beetween SF64 and quake.

Things You Might Expect In Some Planets In The Lylat System... Submitted by Laura Tigress 

 Meteo: Ships from Star Wars flying through the meteors.

 Katina: Will Smith with fellow Black Knights, alien ships, and ID4 being the 1# movie of all time.

 Aquas: The TITANIC, Leo dead, the music group Aquas being the 1# music  group of all time.

 Solar: Sun spots and that tornado they just found on it a few days ago.

 Titania: Death Valley and other deserts.


Seinfeld SFX64 HUMOR.... Submitted by: Dcb650@aol.com 

It's a Seinfeld-ish kind of humor:
Any of you guys notice how Fara Phoenix keeps getting mentioned in this
website when she isn't even in the freakin' game?!?! Not even in the original!
Oh yeah, didn't Falco Lombardi once coach the Green Bay Packers to 2 Super
Bowl victories?
What if the West Side Connection was the boss of Sector Y? First you would
have to fight with Mack 10 and WC, then after Ice Cube would jump into the
scene. All would be throwin' up the W, riding in low-riders, always waving
money in your face, and their main weapons would be their semi-automatics.
Why is it that when the wings break off during gameplay that your lasers go
back to single, when the double laser's barrels are still on the ship?
Why hasn't 20th Century Fox sued Nintendo for ripping off ID4 in the Katina
Level?
Aquas is the water level in the game, but isn't it also that group who did the
Barbie Girl song?
How did Andross get so big in the last level? Too much vitamin R? (if you
watch the Simpsons a lot you would know what vitamin R means)
Maybe Magoo from Timbaland & Magoo can replace Slippy and no one would ever
notice.....(the voice thing)
What if the USS Enterprise comes into the scene in Sector Z and blows
everything up?
Why hasn't Atari sued Nintendo for ripping off Asteroids in the Meteo level?
(in the first part of the level you have to shoot asteroids before they hit
you)
Is it just me or does the whole Sector Y level remind you of that old cartoon
Robotech?
I always though Slippy Toad was that little mushroom in Super Mario 64.....
What if Master P was a boss in Corneria? He could be in his gold tank shooting
at everything, and after he hits something, he'd just bust out with his
trademark moan: Uuuuunnngghh!!!
What if the Blue Marine ran into the Titanic in Aquas? If I did I'd just shoot
Leo DiCaprio's corpse. They better not play that stupid Celine Deion Sanders
song.....
What if the StarWolf team stole the skills of NBA players and StarFox had to
get help from a washed up 36 year old who played for a really bad team? (it's
a Space Jam thing)

You know you've been pying too much Starfox when... Submitted by Fox 

-Falco jumps out of his arwing and migrates south.
-Katt gets in a fight with Bill.
-Your friends commit you.
-You kill your cousin because his name is Andrew.
-Your team commits suicide when they see you.
-Falco acts nice.
-Andross isn't on Venom because he changed back to his Jungle Habitat.
-Pigma crashes into the ground because he's too fat.
-Starwolf says "Gosh, I almost wish I didn't run away..."
-You grill lizards.
-Whenever you hear a frenchman talk, you say "Traitor!"
-You beef up the rumble pak, and somewhere in the U.S.A. citizens are warned to take cover...
-When you want to count how many times you beat Starfox64, you have to store the number on a whole hard disk.
-Right in the middle of the fight with Andross, Peppy says "Oh yeah! did you notice my toupee?"
-In Fortuna, after defeating Star wolf, you go into the base to take care of the bomb, but it turned out Starwolf strapped the bomb to himself.


You know you've been playing too much Starfox when... Submitted by General Salt 

Aproaching Venom from Area 6, you answer the incoming message from Andross,and he says "Ha ha! The son of James Mcloud...again."

At dinner someone says "Pass the salt," and you reply "Location confirmed - Sending supplies!"

Whilst watching Star Wars you grab a controller and try to control people, and get stressed out when someone dies, shouting "All it takes is a simple barrel roll!"

Also approaching in Area 6, Andross says "I enjoyed this last time, I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy this!"


Indications you've been playing to much Starfox64... Submitted by Alex Herning 

     -Starwolf doesn't come to Venom because his mommy said it was  nappytime.
     -When you get to andross, he says, "Go away! I get the point!"
     -When you turn on the N64, it shouts "No!" and turns back off.
     -On Zoness, the boss pirate shouts "abandon ship!" when you arrive.
     -Starwolf doesn't come to Venom because he said Peppy hurt his  feelings.
     -Andross commits suicide.
     -Katt goes out with Leon because she says 'she digs french
     lizards'.
     -When you meet up with James McCloud, he says "Turn off
     the machine or your grounded, son!"
     -Pigma leaves Fortuna to go raid a vending machine.
     -In the credits, when you walk up to Pepper, he says, "It's getting  old, Fox..."
     -Slippy goes to a speech patholigist.
     -Falco joins attitude management.
     -Over the radio, you here Pepper say, "I'm going back to Great Fox  to get some Rogaine!"
     -Andrew cross-dresses.
     -Bill Dog decides to leave Kantina so he can surf again.
     -When you get to Androsss, you see him eating Andrew and Andrew saying "Uncle Andross!".
     -You get into guiness for video game-beating.
     -You stop playing.

Q: Why is Venom green?
A: Andross eats beans!
By Fox Fultz