-You argue with the team during the game because you don't like their
strategy, and besides, you're the leader. (Why SHOULD I use bombs
wisely, Peppy. And WHO are YOU to tell me to find my own target, Falco?
I'll shoot down anyone I want to because I'm the leader!)
-You resolve to name your children after SF characters.
-You already HAVE children named after SF characters.
-You wish that Fox and Wolf would just land their fighters, get out,
duke it out for Fortuna.
-You've actually hacked into the game and made it so that they would.
-You buy a male red fox and name it Fox Mc Cloud.
-You buy (or find) a female fennec fox and name it Fara Phoenix.
-You breed the two foxes...just so that you can see what Fox and
kids would look like. (I really need help)
-You're absolutely convinced that the big Hollywood sci-fi flicks
off Star Fox.
-You wish that the next planet they visited in "Star Trek:(insert
title here)" would be Corneria.
-You argue with your friends over the similarities between Fox and
Kirk...or Picard...or Sisko... (Assuming there are any)
-You argue that Fara (or Katt) would make a better captain than Janeway.
-You wish that the next "Star Trek" SERIES was called "Star Trek:
-You could have sworn that you heard your father say, "Use the Force,
Fox!", and that Nintendo just forgot to put the audio in.
-You think that Luke is really Fox, just in human form, and he's
from Titania, not Tatooine. (I think that Lucas just got the
Cornerian-English translation messed up...hehehe)
-You wish that Darth Vader would just TRY and take on Corneria, just
you can see Star Fox kick his a** all over the galaxy.
-You're playing the game when suddenly your team, along with Granga,
Attack Carrier, the Meteo Crusher, the train boss, Andross, the Spyborg,
the Phantron, the Enterprise (first and latest, the E), the Defiant, the
Voyager, the Millenium Falcon, the Death Star, a squadron of X-wings,
and the Space Shuttle all attempt to shoot you down. (Your allies?
Uhhh...where'd they go...oh, wait, there's Fara. Geez, two against the
biggest FLEET this side of the Spanish Armada? Nice odds...maybe today
IS a good day to die...)
-You petition Mr. Itoh heavily to write a sequel to his comic. (I
-You petition Nintendo to make a Star Fox 64 sequel...or a Star Fox
(Hey...it worked for Mario...by the way, I've heard rumors... :) )
-You figure out how they could possibly conceive of a way to make
-You quit playing Star Fox 64 for a month, and the last time you
your electric meter, you noticed that it stopped going crazy.
-You receive your electric bill for that month and discover a 95%
savings over last month.
-You start playing again and your power station explodes from the
-You've ever shot down Slippy and Pepper promotes you to Grand Admiral.
2. You read #1 and think, "Yeah, right! Everyone knows
Fox sleeps on the
-You don't play Star Fox 64 for a month, and you notice that your
electric meter has quit going haywire.
-You receive your utility bill and find that it's 95% lower than
month's...because you quit playing.
-You start to play again, and your local power station explodes from
-The Star Fox team has started legal proceedings against you for
and hour violations.
-You resolve to name your children after the characters in the SF
comic, or fanfics.
-You HAVE children named after SF characters.
-You buy a male red fox and name it Fox McCloud.
-You buy (or find) a female fennec fox and name it Fara Phoenix McCloud.
-You've ever bred the two...just to see what Fox and Fara's kids
look like (that is, assuming they ever have any)
-You wish that the next system that is visited in the next episode
"Star Trek:(insert series name here)" would be the Lylat system.
-You wish that the next "Star Trek" SERIES would be in the Lylat system.
-You've tried ANYTHING Peppy tells you...in real life.
-You play Star Fox 64 and argue with the rest of the team because
don't like their strategies. (Why SHOULD I use bombs wisely, Peppy? And
who are YOU to tell me to go find my own target, Falco?")
-You are flying through Corneria in the game when suddenly the Gorgon,
the Phantron, the Shogun, Andross, the Death Star, the Executor, a
squadron of X-wings, the Milennium Falcon, the Great Fox, the Enterprise
(first and latest), the Defiant, the Voyager, the Attack Carrier, Fara,
Katt, Bill, the Star Wolf team, the rest of your team, and a partridge
in a pear tree join forces to shoot you down...because they've had
enough of you hogging all the fun. (I'm kidding about the partridge. By
the way, if you don't understand the references e-mail me at
WOLFHOUND21@webtv.net ) .
-The new 'Anti-Fox League' suceeds in shooting you down, and blows
your house. (For the list of members of the AFL, see above joke)
-You can come up with a witty comeback line for ALL of Falco's smart
-You shoot Slippy down, and Pepper promotes you to Grand Admiral.
-Andross invades Earth...just so that he can tell you to quit playing
and have the authority to enforce it.
-You have nothing better to do than write SF humor and fanfics...hey,
wait a sec!
-You've ever had a crush on ANY of the SF characters.
-You've ever wished for a Star Fox/ Star Trek crossover fanfic.
-You've got an idea for a Star Fox/ Final Fantasy crossover fanfic
me! :) )
-You've developed an obsession with eliminating all the helium tanks
known to exist in the universe...just to get Slippy to lower the pitch
of his voice by...oh, I dunno, THREE OCTAVES!!!
-You think that Barney is really Andross in disguise.
Ever notice how Peppy brings up Fox's dead dad a lot of the time?
must be like, "Yeah, I get it! He's dead! You don't have to rub it
Why don't they just stay in the Great Fox the whole time? Do
really need to risk going out there in those flimsy little Arwings???
Do you remember "Krang" from the Ninja Turtles? He was a big
brian, just like Andross. What's the deal???
Is everyone sure that the "Forever Train" couldn't be killed while
the Arwing? Do they really need that little tank?
9. You call your teacher Andross.
8. Whenever you see Barney you tell him to say his prayers.
7. You claim to the police that your Fox Mcloud and you have no time to recieve a speeding ticket.
6. You scream angrily when your arwing crashes on the game.
5. You think your parents are dead.
4.You act like you haven't seen your friend for years.
3. You want to live in outter- space.
2. You pretend your bratty sibling is Andrew Okieny and tell them to shut-up.
1. You begin to act just like Fox Mcloud.
Through some program glitch, Fox and his crew accidentally get mixed
with the game, Goldeneye.
"The names Fox, Fox McCloud."
"Oh do grow up 007."Slippy replies.
You discover that barrel rolling in your car is not a good idea.
It causes damage to the frame of the vehicle.
Instead of fighting Andross, Fox is flying down the trench of the
"The force is strong with this one."Darth Andross.
Obi Peppy, "Use the force Fox!"
Princess Peppy, "He's my brother Han Lombardi."
After spending a short while in prison, you learn that you should not try and hijack military aircraft. On Corneria or Earth.
In your mind's eye, Slippy Toad should be captain Ramius in, The Hunt for Blue Marine.
On Area 6, you keep wanting to have control of Great Fox instead
Arwing so that you can fire those big ass laser cannons on it.
You go on a rampage and begin to kill monkeys at the zoo.
At the beginning instead of them all being on the entry screen, Slippy,
Falco, and Fox are carrying a small coffin.
"Alas poor Peppy. The stress of the game playing was his undoing."
The Starfox team lands in your back yard and they run into your room and begin to play the N64.
You try to find a good therapist for Leon.
You eat pork and bacon all the time to avenge James' death.
You imagine Starfox meets the movie, Topgun....
Fox buzzes Fara Pheonix at the beginning. Literally.
Falco dies like Goose did. Sniff.
Peppy plays the part of Viper.
And Slippy is Merlin.
You still grieve for James McCloud.
You imagine Starfox meets Starship Troopers.
You imagine Starfox meets Startrek.
Finally you have learned the secret to life.
he shoots you down (see above)
then peppy says "Im sure we hurt'em this time."(see above)
You make jokes about what the team says on Macbeth.
You shoot down Andrew and the StarWolf Team and Andross say at the same time "THANK YOU!!!"
You realize the Cornarian Army is worthless an you yell at the screen "HEY YOU SCRONNY @$$ SH--! WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU! YOU LEFT ME OUT IN ******* SPACE TO BATTLE A BIG ******* MONKEY!!!!!"
You Use a lot of profanity in a joke.
q:what do you do if wolf threatens you
a:turn on n64
q:why is peppy always giving lectures to fox
a:everyone else got tired of listening
Your co-pilot is Flash Gordon
Your N64 blows up ( your house too )
you sue the pants off of every tv station for not making a star fox tv show
You pack everything in a backpack and wait outside till midnight.
You see a fox run across the street and think it's Fox Mcleoud.
When you play, Slippy says goodbye cruel world and self destructs.
Then the SF team laughs and celebrates (see above)
You grow up and go into the army when you notice that there isnt
landmasters (or whatever they are called). They are just tanks.
Andross lets you beat him.
You go crazy when the team talks to you
You find out your Fox and they were talking to him (See above)
at a baseball game, they are giving away 2 fox beanie babies. you
are fox and james mcleoud and say, "I'll rescue you. Dont worry".
Star Wars fans start boycotting SF64
instead of phasers, they have blasters.
The sequel will not have slippy
The team laughs and celebrates (again) (See above)
you notice that you are flying X-wings
Name your dog bill
You read a bunch of books and find out secret codes for SF64
They serve you chicken wings for dinner and go, "Falco! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
You own 3D posters and when you look into them you see Star Fox images
you start a play for star fox
and then start an opera for star fox (see above)
You think Fox Mulder is related to Fox Mcleoud
You find secret tv channels that show the star fox team doing stuff
Dennis Miller gives a review for SF64
You read this list and start one of your own
1. what if andross had a wife
2. what if andross had a body
3. what if you read this
4. what if slippy actually MATURED
5. what if slippy SHUT THE **** UP
6. what if SF64 the sequel turns out to be an rpg
7. what if the SF64 sequel has cameo appearances by Mario and goemon.
8. what if there is no SF64 sequel!!!!!!!!!!!
9. what if i stoped typ
10. what if someone outlaws SF64
2) When they talk to you, you talk back, and then they talk back.
3) You can play the whole StarWolf Team.
4) All of a sudden, you're Nintendo 64 blows up (NNNOOOOOOOOO!)
5) Everybody is old and weak, even Slippy (now THAT'S a miracle!).
6) When you go to school, the teacher askes if you're
here you say any
of these: "Falco here, I'm fine." "Slippy here. I'm okay." "Peppy here.
All systems go."
7) When you listen to music, you say, "Let's rock and roll!".
8) When your brother or sister said something smart,
you say, "Ha!
You're not as stupid as you look!".
9) When you play with a bad game player you say, "You're
good, but I'm
10) You hear Captin Mardock say in "Titanic", "See my
ship? DOES IT LOOK
OKAY TO YOU?"
Peppy: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Watch me do a backflip! Mom!
Peppy's Mom: A backflip? You're only 5! Well, I have
seen you do a
summersalt, cartwheel, and a handstand, so I guess I'm not surprized.
Okay, I'll watch.
Peppy's Dad: He learned a new trick by himself again,
didn't he? What's
Peppy's Mom: He has alot of pep.
You can't understand what people have against Slippy?
I mean, you find you're
attracted to that little frog. That squeaky voice, that little green face...
you're even fighting as Slippy on foot so you could see that little green
(No, I'm not this bad! Don't even start! My voice should be dripping sarcasm.
Oozing sarcasm! ::Sarcasm oozes from her voice into a little puddle of liquid
Pigma- ::Licks at the puddle since he already finished off Star Wolf's
supplies and is hungry:: Yummy!)
Somehow, you find you're littering your conversasion
with phrases from Star
"Shoot, I've taken damage!"
"Trying to do a barrel roll with your car isn't a good idea. It's going to
cost you to repair it."
::Sighs and gives money:: "I guess I should be thankful"
Forget the movie... you've written the Star Fox Musical!
(Imagine Wolf & co
doing a "I'm losing" number to the tune of "I'm wishing...")
You can be found by the foxes at the zoo, calling, "James
McCloud? I know
you're there! I'll get you out! I'll bring you to Fox..."
You *finally* figure out what they're saying at the
intro screen! (You know,
when you move around that '64'...) Sure! "Please... no more!" "Turn this off!"
"Stop playing Star Fox!"
When you take a break from playing, you go read the
Star Fox interviews... and
gasp at the drama! James' drink problem! The troubles of Bill as a pizza
delivery guy! The on-going feud between Falco and Leon...
You finally find that elusive code that erases all the
air brushing done to
Peppy and shows what he *really* looks like...
Your wingmates start make amazing dives, great shots...
and they destroy
everything before you can get a single shot in... in fact, you don't kill a
single thing on the entire level...
Great Fox and your wingmates fly off and ditch you while
you're busy fighting
You fly down, looking for Andross... and see a 'For
Sale' sign in front of the
...you think the internet images of Andross are moving.
...you have no life beyond Star Fox.
...you write YKYPTMSFW all over your walls.
...you made a Star Fox church.
...you campaign a Star Fox playing tips class at your local high school.
...you look for Arwings too pass over your yard.
...you adjust your TV to make Falco green and he says
...you write YKYPTMSFW humor.
...your name is PsychoSpunky and you act as your name describes you.
...you have multiple personalities that relate to the
...you're a character in a Star Fox movie.
...you've kept a Sim going since Sept of '97.
...James McCloud is your idol.
...you change your name and keep teling people, "MY
NAME IS FOX, BIRD
...when you think retro style you think Star Fox for SNES.
...you shoots at apes at the zoo.
You know you've played to much Starfox when you keep
crossing it up with
You know you've played too much Stare\fox when you go
to another galaxy far
far away......... (see above)
You know you've played too much Starfox when you kill
yourself with you own
Flaco's Father: I'm sure he or she is worth the pain.
Falco's Mother: I HOPE SO TOO!!!
(Later that day, Falco's Father drove Falco's Mother to the hospital)
Falco Mother: AAAAHHHHHH! It's time!!!! We need to get
to the delivery
Falco's Father: Don't worry, don't worry honey! I'm hurring . . .
(At the delivery room . . .)
Doctor: One more push should do it . . .
Falco's Mother: I'M GONNA DIE!!! AAAIIII!!!!!!
. . . . . Waah! Waaahhh!!
Doctor: Congraulations, it's a baby . . .
Falco's Mother: Is it a girl or a boy?
(Doctor slaps Falco's Mother)
Doctor: Shame on you for bringing a hidious kid like
him into the world!
You too sir . . .
(Doctor slaps Falco's Father)
Falco's Father: At least we know that he's a boy . . .
Falco's Mother: Ahh! He IS hidious!
Falco's Father: Oh my, . . . .
Falco's Mother and Father: We need to put him into abdoption.
Falco's Mother and Father put him into abdoption. He
was abdopted by
mean and abusive parents . . .
"Mom": Shut up kid and eat your dinner!
"Kid": Wha?? I'm only 5 and where's dinner?
"Dad": You know where it is, idiot, on the floor next to the toilet.
"Kid": But nothing is-
("Kid" gets slapped)
"Mom": SHUT UP! Don't you EVER talk back to me AGAIN!
("Kid walks off to find dinner)
"Dad": What should we call him?
"Mom": Why'd you want to do that? You accutally care
about him so much,
you wanna give him a name?
"Dad": NO! No, I'm running out of other things the call him.
"Mom": Oh. Well, he is a falc-
"Dad": That's it!
"Mom": Well, okay. I don't like it, so . . it fits him
Kid! Come here!
Falco: Yeah? What, do you want me to feed you again?
"Mom": Yeah, and so you wanted be bored, we'll call
you Falco. That's
your new name!
"Dad": Quit standin around and GET BUSY!
("Dad" kickes Falco)
. . . When Falco grew up to be 10 years old, he ran
away from home and
grew up on the streets. When he was old enough, he joined the StarFox
team. He found out about this when he was 16 years old.
He stared talking at an early age and was saying thisng's like:
"Hey, mother ******s!"
"How the **** are ya doin!"
"My friends told me how to say words like ****!"
When Slippy's parents found out he said,
Fox Mulder: Agents Mulder and Scully, FBI.
Roxanne Wolf: We know who you are.
Dana Scully: Now, Roxanne, you are a half wolf and half human, right?
Roxanne Wolf: Duh!
Fox Mulder: How is that?
Roxanne Wolf (thinking): He is sssooo kute! I can't
believe he's looking
and talking to me! He's looking at me! This is a dream come true!
Fox Mulder: Roxanne?
Roxanne Wolf: Huh? Oh yeah, uh . . well, I live in Lylat.
It has many
half animal-half human people.
Dana Scully: What is this, Lylat, like?
Roxanne Wolf: It's a system of planets . . .
Dana Scully: AAAAHHHHHH!!!! ::her chair falls back as she faints::
Fox Mulder: What the h*** was that?!?! Scully?
Roxanne Wolf: She'll be fine! That's just my pet Godzilla,
Max! He just
Fox Mulder: A Godzilla and wolf-human. What next?
::huge, loud foot thumps shake the floor as Max enters::
Roxanne Wolf: Come Max! Meet Fox!
Fox Mulder: Did you just call me by my first name?
Roxanne Wolf: Opps. (thinking) Does he now know that I love him?
Fox Mulder: Do you like me?
Roxanne Wolf: YEAH! Opps, uh . . . . . . . so what do you think?
Fox Mulder: That's alright. I like you too!
Roxanne Wolf: You do? That's great!
::Fox Mulder and Roxanne Wolf smile::
Roxanne Wolf: Uh, I think I need to put him to sleep for the night.
Fox Mulder: Okay. Uh, after we put Scully in the hospital, wanna go out?
Roxanne Wolf: But I'm only 12 . . .
Fox Mulder: So? I don't care.
Roxanne Wolf: . . . . Me neither. Okay! It's a date! Where to though?
Fox Mulder: First we go to CiCi's Pizza and then to
my house. Sound
Roxanne Wolf: That's great! Let me put Max up first.
Then we carry
Scully to your car and take her to the hospital.
Fox Mulder: Okay. I'll pay for the pizza, alright?
Roxanne Wolf: Okay. Come here Max! Time for bed.
Max: ::makes little grr's as Roxanne Wolf puts him to sleep::
For Mulder: Ready?
Roxanne Wolf: Ready!
::Roxanne Wolf and Fox Mulder drive Scully to the hospital
as she stays
there overnight, then drive to CiCi's Pizza, then to Fox's house::
What would happen if StarFox finally kicked Andross's butt?
everyone be bored and there would be no more StarFox games? How come you
can beat him in the game? The Nintendo company then makes up some stupid
excuse to make another game. How come the never curse in the game? It's
the 90's! You hear people curse all the time! I they are from another
far off galaxy, how can they speak English? We live in one planet that
speaks MANY languages! Why half-animal and half-human things? Did they
change over the years? If they did, how did animals get there from
another galaxy?! Why do two different animals love each other? What
other the offspring? like Katt and Falco? How come theirs only one women
in the game? Women CAN be tough, ya know! Is Solar, like, their sun or
planet? Shouldn't StarFox wear shades to protect their eyes if they go
near a sun-planet? What's with all the unknown people, like Kitty
Monroe, or Fana McCloud? I REALLY need to know. How the heck did a video
game from another galaxy get to Earth? How did they learn English? Maybe
the truth IS out there . . .
Here's 1 letter frum Deon Renard.
Dear Star Fox,
Why is Slippy always getting pursued by bogeies?
Well, Slippy's still being chased, Deon, but eye can
answer dat. HE
CAN'T FLY WORTH ****!!!!!!!!!!! I WANNA SHOOT HIM DOWN TOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, it's de wulf in me, being half wulf, half human anyway.
letter, frum Selina D. Courgarine.
Did you have any girlfriend?
Well, Selina, u're very, VERY lucky! Eye have the Pepster here with me and he'll answer dat four u.
PEPPY: Well, come to think of it, I-
That's lovely, Pep-a-roonie, butt I have 2 read 1 more letter.
PEPPY: Oh, bye!
Dis last letter is frum Gilbert Feline.
Why are you blue?
FALCO: I'M NOT! I'M GREEN!! ADJUST YOUR TELEVISION!!!!!!!!!!!!!(he's
Falco, calm down!
FALCO: (using REAL bad profanity) (walks away)
Oh, how sad, dat's all de time eye have fur today. So, chow!
You here Andrew say "Andrew need a new diaper."
In expert mode, you die because of you can't see worth
beans in you're
Wolf starts going crazy and you hear him go
"What's da matter with you, Fox! I wuv you! YOU'RE MY BESTEST
on Fortuna when he chases you everywhere.
You're flying around, when you get captured by the Death Star.
You crash land on a planet called Vulcan and you meet Spock.
He hates you and gives you a nerve pinch(see above)
In the Great Fox on Sector Z, you sware you here ROB64
"She can't take much more of this, Captain" or "She's going to blow any
Instead of getting older, Peppy sucks in the gas in
the Time suspencer
capsules(from "The Thundercats") and starts getting younger.
You're N64 blows up.
You finally get a medal on every level, and you're N64
gets a memory
and you're game starts all over.
You go crazy(see above)
You crash land on Earth and see Captian Kirk playing with whales.
He calls you a double-dumb ass(see above)
You hear Peppy go "ANYBODY GOTTA CARROT?"
You save Peppy on all-range mode and he says "You're
father saved me like
that too." and you wonder if James shot Peppy til his shield gauge is in
the red zone.
You here Falco go "I'M GOING TO SHOT YOU DOWN AND BECOME
THE LEADER OF
THE STAR FOX TEAM! HA HA HA!!!!!!"
You die. (see above)
You go to Spyborg and he says "Creator!!"
For Peppy's birthday, you give him a book called 'You
know you're over 40
Peppy takes the book and knocks you over the head.(see above)
You give Falco a cake for his b-day.
He smashes it in your face(see above)
... you keep shooting down your wingmen on Fortuna.
... you scream when you see Andross for the first time.
... you think you're going crazy when the characters talk to you.
... when the characters talk to you you keep wondering why they're calling you Fox.
... your great-grandpa playes better than you.
... you try to get as few points as possible thinking this is a golf game.
... you think Andross is your best friend.
... you can't get past the first cinema scene.
... you can't belive it's not butter (I don't know why I ut it in. It just sounded funny)
... you try to find secret stages with Ninja Turtles in them.
... you avoid the rings in training mode.
You know you've been playing too much starfox when Slippy
goes balistic and
kills the entire star wolf team.........on Venom
You know you've been playing too much starfox when you
learn Japanese from
the bad dubbing at the end of the game.
You know you've been playing too much starfox when Peppy
begins to tell you
an enemy weakness and then says "screw it, you already know"
YOu know you've been palying too much starfox when you
make it a point to
kill the EXACT same number of units in each level
You know you've been playing too much starfox when one
of your teammates
bails out another one
You know you've been playing too much starfox when one
of your team shoots
you down and says "turn the machine off"
Katina: Will Smith with fellow Black Knights, alien ships, and ID4 being the 1# movie of all time.
Aquas: The TITANIC, Leo dead, the music group Aquas being the 1# music group of all time.
Solar: Sun spots and that tornado they just found on it a few days ago.
Titania: Death Valley and other deserts.
At dinner someone says "Pass the salt," and you reply "Location confirmed - Sending supplies!"
Whilst watching Star Wars you grab a controller and try to control people, and get stressed out when someone dies, shouting "All it takes is a simple barrel roll!"
Also approaching in Area 6, Andross says "I enjoyed this last time, I'm sure I'm gonna enjoy this!"